Just returned from a two-week hiatus and am clearly in no condition to write. So I asked Stan (pictured), the homeless guy who picks through my dumpster every morning, what he feels will be the hottest trends and most exciting new developments in the adult beverage world in the coming year. Here's what Stan came up with:

Boone's Strawberry Hill will become the #1-selling wine in cash-strapped America (see video)

A Kardashian will endorse Watermelon Jell-O Shots made by some company that will be out of business by July

More and more people will be handing out change to the less fortunate outside of bars (Stan's an eternal optimist)

There will be a noticeably diminished interest in speakeasies and pricey craft cocktail bars

Real dive joints are BACK

Stan's liver will fail (again)

People will finally wise up and stop ordering Stella. Because Stella sucks

Pilsner Urquell gets trendy again... and with good reason

Aged rums will be all the rage

Aged tequilas will not

Look for a reality show about bar fights hosted by Snookie

In 2012, Don Julio Tequila will celebrate 70 years in the business. To commemorate the occasion they've introduced a new addition to their portfolio -- Don Julio 70, the world's first clear añejo tequila. When I first heard about the clear añejo, I wondered how they managed to extract the color imparted by the barrel-aging. Then I wondered why the hell they'd even bother? Granted, there is a consumer segment out there that tends to be brown spirit averse... they're called "chicks." But as far as I can tell, ladies who dig tequila have always seemed perfectly content drinking blanco out of each other's belly buttons. The whole clear añejo concept smacked of a gimmick, and nothing turns me off more than gimmicky adult beverages... yeah, I'm talking to YOU, Miller Lite Vortex Bottle!

But then I tasted the Don Julio 70 and it all became... well, clear: It's one of the smoothest tequilas around.

Don Julio 70 is distilled twice, and spends 18 months in reclaimed American white oak barrels. It's then filtered using some top-secret magical process that not only brings back the crisp agave flavor typically found in a blanco, but also removes the color.

It's complex like an añejo, yet is as easily drinkable as an unaged tequila. Dominant flavors include honey, pepper, green melon and, of course, smoky agave... finished with wood influenced vanilla, nuts and light cigar notes. It's got the body of a Victoria's Secret model -- sleek and satiny. Retails for $70 a bottle. And it's worth it.

I came across a cocktail recipe the great Dushan Zaric of NYC's Employees Only fame created in celebration of el Día de los Muertos (the Day of the Dead). Dushan's recipe calls for Don Julio reposado, but I made one using the DJ 70 instead and it was splendiferous. Here, give it a whirl:

Paloma Brava
1 1/2 ounces Tequila Don Julio 70
Juice of 1 lime
Juice of 1 small orange
Juice of 1 small grapefruit
4 ounces of grapefruit soda
Pinch of salt
Agave nectar to taste

Add salt, tequila, lime, orange and grapefruit juices into a glass mug. Lime hull can also be included. Fill with ice and add grapefruit soda. Add agave nectar to taste. Serve in a clay mug.

Our first guest on this edition of the most liquorlicious podcast in the listen-o-sphere is Mr. Craig Boreth, proprietor of Twice the Vice, where chocolatey goodness meets delightful tipsiness. Boreth infuses fine dark chocolate with top-shelf liquor like Macallan, Elijah Craig and El Diamante, to name a few. It's genius. And tasty as all hell.

We're broadcasting from inside the cozy confines of The Basement Tavern in Santa Monica, and later in the show we're joined by bar manager TJ Williams, who knows a thing of twenty about whiskey.

Tune in and tune out.

Enjoy the sweet buzz of sauce-soaked confections.

As anyone who follows Deadline.com to keep abreast of important entertainment news no doubt already knows, the creators of the hit TV show It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia and I are developing a scripted comedy series for Fox based on my okay-selling memoir, Living Loaded: Tales of Sex, Salvation and the Pursuit of the Never-ending Happy Hour.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “Wow, Hollywood really has run out of good ideas.” It’s okay. I thought the same thing when the deal went down. I mean, c’mon — I’m a professional boozer. For the past 15 years or so, I’ve ravaged my liver and my reputation (along with a good many relationships) in the service of a booze-soaked byline. And thanks to the mind-altering qualities of the stuff I’ve long specialized in covering, I can hardly remember any of it. My career should serve as a cautionary tale, not as the basis for a prime-time television program.

But it is what it is. If Rupert Murdoch’s minions at News Corp (Fox’s parent company) think it’s a good idea to turn my life into a show, who am I to argue? Hell, I’d bet my collectable copy of the final edition of The News of the World that it’s not the worst idea they’ve ever had over there.

That being said, I’m realistic about just how slim the chances are of Living Loaded the series ever winding up on the air. (Particularly in light of what I wrote in the previous paragraph.) But I’m not sweating it because, frankly, having to produce a TV show week in and week out sounds like a lot of work. And I, for one, happen to agree wholeheartedly with Oscar Wilde’s assessment of work being the curse of the drinking class.

We're debuting The Imbiber Show on Playboy Radio (Sirius/XM Channel 102) on Wednesday, May 25th, live from 4-6 pm EST. That's 1-3 pm for our left coast friends.

My co-host is the lovely and lovelier Kayden Kross (pictured to the left). My producer is my trusted brother-in-alcohol Mike "Stretch" Roberts. My inspiration is YOU (not really, but it sounds nice, eh?)

We also have a slew of beautiful women (see photo gallery/bios below) stopping by to talk adult beverages, play drinking games and generally make me feel like the luckiest sum'bitch alive.

Love to have you call in to the show and share whatever's on your mind. Again, we'll be airing live from 4-6 pm EST. The studio line is 877-205-9796.

In this early kickoff to the holiday weekend, we'll be making cocktails and drinking wine. Here's some of the adult beverages we have on tap:

-- Spirits expert Silamith Weir will be making a Los Altos Morning Julep
2 oz Siete Leguas Tequila
3/4 oz FAIR Café Liqueur
1/2 oz Combier Liqueur D'Orange
1/2 oz brown sugar syrup (equal parts brown sugar and water)
Sprig of fresh mint for garnish
Crush ice, pack densely into julep cup. Combine tequila, coffee liqueur, orange liqueur and brown sugar syrup in shaker. Shake vigorously, strain over julep cup. Heartily slap the mint sprig then stick it in. Drink

We visit the Spare Room in Hollyweird to meet with Milagro Tequila ambassador and mixologist Gaston Martinez, who plies us with shots of his newly developed creation, El Vocho. An evolved take on the classic spicy tomato Sangrita shooter, El Vocho is a harmonious combination of fiery and sweet, as cilantro, pineapple, mint and jalapeno combine to form a stellar accompaniment to Milagro Reposado’s clean, agave-forward, notes of caramel and toast.

Tune in Wednesday, May 4th, to see me mix and quaff tequila shots with Conan on TBS (11 pm EST/10 central). It's gonna be a hoot!

The shots were designed for Hornitos tequila by Jason Litrell of Death & Co. I'm honored to be making them on the air. Oh, and here's one to whet your appetite:

Hornitos Popper (aka Pico de Plata)
Ingredients:
1 part jalapeno infused Hornitos™ Plata Tequila*
½ part fresh pineapple juice
¼ part red pepper puree**
1/4 part fresh lime juice
Dash Bitter Truth celery bitters
Salt and pepper to rim glass

Directions:  Shake and strain in to a salt and pepper rimmed shot glass.
*Cut the skin off the jalapeno, and soak the seeds and pith of three (3) Jalapenos per 750ml bottle of Hornitos Plata Tequila for 30 minutes, or to taste.
** Remove stems, seeds and veins from a red pepper. Toss into blender and puree until smooth.

There used to be a phenemonal radio station in LA called Indie 103.1 FM, where I used to do a minute-long daily segment called "High Spirits." It was sponsored by the fine folks at Beam Brands and, as you probably surmised, the subject matter was all the adult beverages we love so much. Then, one day, seemingly at the height of the station's popularity, it was gone. No more Jonesy's Jukebox, or guest deejays such as Henry Rollins and the Chemical Brothers. Dave Navarro's show bit the dust, too. Surreal, but sadly, it happened.

(Sigh) I miss Indie 103.1... almost as much as I miss getting paid to talk about booze on the coolest station in LA.

(sigh again).

Here's a High Spirits segment that aired around the holidays two years ago. A tippled twist on a classic holiday poem... enjoy!

Screw Cinco de Mayo, man! TODAY -- September 16th -- marks the actual day of Mexico’s Independence, originally celebrated 200 years ago. 2010 is such a monumental year for the country that Mexican President Felipe Calderón declared it the "Year of the Nation." And I believe by "nation" he means Mexico. Hey, not only is this the 200th anniversary of the country’s movement for independence against Spain in 1810, it's also the 100th anniversary of the start of the Mexican Revolution in 1910.

The Imbiber staff plans to celebrate Mexico’s Centennial and Bicentennial with some delicious punch made with Cabo Wabo Tequila (click Read More below  for recipe). I loves me some Cabo Wabo because it was founded by my man, legendary rocker Sammy Hagar, who had this to say about my upcoming book, Living Loaded: Tales of Sex, Salvation and the Pursuit of the Never-Ending Happy Hour:

“Dan Dunn's writing is like kick-ass, balls to the wall rock n roll cranked to ear-bleed levels -- makes you feel great and really pisses off the neighbors.  I can drink to that!”

Thanks, Sammy. You da man. Viva Mexico!