In recent years Americans have fended off many attacks by the UK, who apparently think that after 234 years and countless displays of our superiority, they can, in any shape or form, step to us. I’m talking of course about the long-standing competition between the two nations to see who’s better at killing themselves with food.

I’ll admit, the Brits looked good a few years back when word spread to these shores that they were deep-frying candy bars. U.S. gumption countered with the deep-fried Oreo, then followed that up with the Jimmy Dean Chocolate Chip Pancake and Sausage on a stick, Baconaisse and of course, KFC’s infamous Double Down sandwich. And while I’m all for retaliation in force, it felt a little like piling on. I mean, wasn’t it clear Old Blighty brought a knife to a gunfight here? Sure they pioneered the Chip Buttie (a french-fry sandwich) and all, but while a huge advancement in the deadly food pantheon, it’s decades old at this point. The hunt is to the hungry, after all, and lord knows the U.S. is ravenous for toxic snacks.