Just returned from a two-week hiatus and am clearly in no condition to write. So I asked Stan (pictured), the homeless guy who picks through my dumpster every morning, what he feels will be the hottest trends and most exciting new developments in the adult beverage world in the coming year. Here's what Stan came up with:

Boone's Strawberry Hill will become the #1-selling wine in cash-strapped America (see video)

A Kardashian will endorse Watermelon Jell-O Shots made by some company that will be out of business by July

More and more people will be handing out change to the less fortunate outside of bars (Stan's an eternal optimist)

There will be a noticeably diminished interest in speakeasies and pricey craft cocktail bars

Real dive joints are BACK

Stan's liver will fail (again)

People will finally wise up and stop ordering Stella. Because Stella sucks

Pilsner Urquell gets trendy again... and with good reason

Aged rums will be all the rage

Aged tequilas will not

Look for a reality show about bar fights hosted by Snookie