football
Imbiber blog archive

Sep/20/2007
Ready for Some Football?
By Dan Dunn
dawkins

By the time you’ve laid eyes upon this column, the first game of the 2007 National Football League season will be in the books. And though at this writing the opening kickoff is still 24 hours away, I feel confident enough in my supreme prognostication skills to offer my congratulations and heartfelt thanks to the Indianapolis Colts on their 14-point win at home over the New Orleans Saints. If, however, Peyton Manning’s bunch somehow managed to NOT cover the paltry six-and-a-half point spread, donations to the Imbiber Gambling Debt Relief Fund are being accepted.To read the rest click here...
|

No Good Load Goes Unpunished

Aug/23/2006
Shit_Your_Pants_Vegas_Trip_013
The Imbiber spent the better part of a decade at a prestigious east coast university/technical institute, where I learned one or two things about the writing profession (pertaining primarily to punctuation) and several thousand lessons on the do’s and don’t’s of beer drinking? Or should that be the “dos” and do’nts” of drinking! Whatever.

Ah, the good ole’ college days. Remember them? Yeah, me neither. I’ll tell you, my friends, college students are the worst sort of drinkers. They’re young and pretty and horny and usually very stupid. And when you add cheap beer to the mix, well, the result is often so much fun that they hardly even notice the slowly decaying corpse of the school mascot duct-taped to the sofa at the frat house. Yep, we’ve ALL been there before …

Most men tend to calm down as they get a little older – say, fifty. But no matter how “mature” a guy becomes, there are still times when it is impossible to escape one’s inner frat boy. When that happens, at best, you escape with a nasty hangover and the nagging suspicion that your wife thinks you’re a buffoon. At worst, those moments are a prelude to divorce. Here’s how the latter scenario might play out:

10:15 a.m. – Kiss your wife lovingly as she heads off to yoga class. Promise you won’t drink too many beers this time and that you’ll be home right after the big game. To read the rest click here...
|