Aug/05/2008
Pairing Wine with Porn
By Dan Dunn
(The following is a variation of a feature I wrote for the April issue of Playboy. This version was apparently too racy for Hef’s liking. Be forewarned, there are "big people" words and concepts contained herein -- DD)
Most guys consider a good bottle of wine as a means to an ending, preferably a happy one. But adult film superstar Savanna Samson turned that approach on its head, using sex to get the wine. Launching her own vino label back in 2004, Savanna (whose given name is Natalie Oliveros) admits she fully expected to get bent over a barrel and reamed by skeptics. But before wine purists and whining prudes could pounce, the brand’s sapid debut release, “Sogno Uno,” received a ringing endorsement from critic Robert Parker, likely the single most important voice in the whole wide world of wine. Any reaming that occurred after that was limited to poorly-lit film sets in Van Nuys. In the opinion of He Who Matters Most, Savanna Samson, wine producer, was too legit to quit. It’s this unique combination of expertise in the production of both adult beverages and adult films that led me to enlist Savanna’s aid in pairing wine with porn. Hard to believe I beat Parker to the punch on that idea, eh?
When I arrive at her commodious Madison Avenue abode, Savanna’s got her hair up in a ponytail and is sporting black stretch pants with a tight, long-sleeved paisley t-shirt. She looks downright adorable, and it suddenly dawns on me that she’s more than the mere embodiment of all that men desire in the bedroom, not to mention the featured player in so many of my own sexual fantasies. Savanna is Natalie, and Natalie is someone’s sister and daughter and ex-wife. Natalie has friends she’s known since high school who work 9-to-5 jobs, and she’s got a little boy, too, as evidenced by the toys strewn throughout the apartment. Shortly thereafter, over a bottle of Krug, she giddily puts forth on the ins and outs of gangbangs and pop shots, and I make a mental note to call my therapist.
Stretched
out on an oversized love seat sucking down champagne
like… well, you know… Ms. Samson opens up about
everything from what she describes as her perfectly
normal childhood in Connecticut to her all-time
favorite sexual predilection — a spoonful of anal
with a woman on top. The Krug drained, she lets her
hair down (literally), throws on a pair of jeans, and
we make our way over to a cozy Park Avenue brasserie
called Les Halles, where celeb chef Anthony Bourdain
worked before becoming a nuisance on television. Even
more expensive wine is consumed, and we eventually
get down to the business at hand.
“Rocco Meats an American Angel in Paris” with a1997 Ridge Monte Bello Cabernet
“The biggest cock I’ve ever had belongs to Rocco Siffredi,” muses Savanna of the notoriously well-endowed Italian stallion who broke … er, make that pulverized her adult film cherry. “Something that enormous calls for a wine of equal stature, like a Ridge Monte Bello.” Of course, the Ridge cab is long and black, so perhaps it would pair better with a well-hung brutha’ like Lexington Steele. “I’ve never worked with Lexington,” Savanna says with a wry grin, “but he was my boy toy for a while. I’m all for having plenty of sex and wine with a Nubian prince like Lex.” Ah, well in that case it ought to be something from K’orus, a new line of affordable French reds, whites and rosés targeted toward African-American oenophiles — the brainchild of former Motown Records CEO Kedar Massenburg.
Girl-on-Girl
action with a 2006 Michele Chiarlo Nivole Moscato
d’Asti
Like its kissing cousin, Asti Spumante, the Italian sparkling wine Moscato d’Asti offers the sweet scent of sex on a hot summer morning with an even more sensual flavor profile (that’s winespeak for “taste”). This light and bubbly treat, the most delicate and sublime of all dessert wines, could provide necessary balance to some heavy Sapphic action. “The Nivole reminds me of a scene from my movie, ‘Flasher,’ in which Brooke Haven and I ravish each other’s pussies after a crazy night out,” says Savanna. “Moscato has the aroma of a ripe, white peach and the sweet velvety softness of a woman's outer lips. But it’s the inner juices that are the best part, and the most delicious pussies and dessert wines I’ve ever had have one thing in common: they taste like peaches.” (Note to peach farmers everywhere: Playboy is gladly accepting thank-you notes on Savanna’s behalf.)
The “Barely Legal” collection with a Marchesi di Gresy or Bruno Giacosa Barbaresco
Like porndom’s nubile nymphs, whose budding libidos are awakened by lecherous teachers and dirty old neighbors invariably portrayed by the likes of Herschel Savage, many find this age-worthy Italian red too irresistible to cellar. Barbaresco is made from powerfully tannic Nebbiolo grapes and exhibits many of the same characteristics as its hearty Piedmontese neighbor Barolo, perhaps the most prestigious of all Italian wines. “Like a promising young red, young porn stars can be pretty volatile and must be handled with care,” the 40-year-old Savanna opines. “Sure, they’re hot shit when they first arrive on the scene, but you never can predict how they’re going to age.” Savanna cites the career of septuagenarian sextress Cara Lott, 46, a fixture on the porn scene in the early 80s, who has made a comeback in recent years headlining MILF flicks. “Cara plays my mother in a movie I did recently, and I'll tell you what, that woman can fuck! She certainly made me put out a little harder and realize that for porn stars, a little seasoning can be a very good thing.” The exception being Savage, who Savanna calls “the worst fuck I ever had.”
“The New Devil In Miss Jones” with Savanna Samson “Sogno Uno” 2004
“My most acclaimed film is the perfect complement to my signature wine,” says Savanna. The critics agree. Miss Samson scored a Best Actress Award for “Miss Jones” at the 2006 AVN awards, and her debut label — a voluptuous blend of Cesanese, Sangiovese and Montepulciano — got venerated vino evaluator Parker hot and bothered to the tune of 91 precious rating points. It should be noted that Parker famously refuses to accept free samples… of wine, that is. I resist the temptation to ask Savanna if she’s ever been to the Motel 6 in Chestnut Hill, Maryland. Sogno Uno translates to “Dream One,” fitting since men the world over have spent many a restless night dreaming about the babe on the label. Says Savanna: “I was recently at a porn industry event where I was told I had the best onscreen presence ever. Later that night, my boyfriend tried my wine for the first time, pouring it down the top of my chest while I was sitting on his face. He said that not only was I the best he ever had, but the wine was as well.”
Dominatrix porn with a “Bitch” Barossa Grenache
“It's not often that I don the leather and bring out the whips and chains, so when I do look out because I'm in a mood!” growls our sex-ommelier. “I love the feeling of power as I let loose and take control. Most men aren't used to being dominated, so watching a guy get off as I whip his sorry ass is so delicious. A wine called ‘Bitch’ is perfect, because that’s what I’d make him — my little bitch.” The wine is composed of 100 percent old vine Grenache and is as bold and spicy as they come. In a pinch, the cork can be used as a ball gag.
Ass-to-mouth with Boone’s Strawberry Hill
“This one is a no-brainer,” says Savanna, “because they both taste like shit.” She is quick to add that her own posterior’s bouquet is an ambrosial medley of tropical fruits with a hint of fresh jam, which she attributes to her penchant for eating pineapple and strawberries when she drinks wine.
By Dan Dunn
(The following is a variation of a feature I wrote for the April issue of Playboy. This version was apparently too racy for Hef’s liking. Be forewarned, there are "big people" words and concepts contained herein -- DD)
Most guys consider a good bottle of wine as a means to an ending, preferably a happy one. But adult film superstar Savanna Samson turned that approach on its head, using sex to get the wine. Launching her own vino label back in 2004, Savanna (whose given name is Natalie Oliveros) admits she fully expected to get bent over a barrel and reamed by skeptics. But before wine purists and whining prudes could pounce, the brand’s sapid debut release, “Sogno Uno,” received a ringing endorsement from critic Robert Parker, likely the single most important voice in the whole wide world of wine. Any reaming that occurred after that was limited to poorly-lit film sets in Van Nuys. In the opinion of He Who Matters Most, Savanna Samson, wine producer, was too legit to quit. It’s this unique combination of expertise in the production of both adult beverages and adult films that led me to enlist Savanna’s aid in pairing wine with porn. Hard to believe I beat Parker to the punch on that idea, eh?
When I arrive at her commodious Madison Avenue abode, Savanna’s got her hair up in a ponytail and is sporting black stretch pants with a tight, long-sleeved paisley t-shirt. She looks downright adorable, and it suddenly dawns on me that she’s more than the mere embodiment of all that men desire in the bedroom, not to mention the featured player in so many of my own sexual fantasies. Savanna is Natalie, and Natalie is someone’s sister and daughter and ex-wife. Natalie has friends she’s known since high school who work 9-to-5 jobs, and she’s got a little boy, too, as evidenced by the toys strewn throughout the apartment. Shortly thereafter, over a bottle of Krug, she giddily puts forth on the ins and outs of gangbangs and pop shots, and I make a mental note to call my therapist.
“Rocco Meats an American Angel in Paris” with a1997 Ridge Monte Bello Cabernet
“The biggest cock I’ve ever had belongs to Rocco Siffredi,” muses Savanna of the notoriously well-endowed Italian stallion who broke … er, make that pulverized her adult film cherry. “Something that enormous calls for a wine of equal stature, like a Ridge Monte Bello.” Of course, the Ridge cab is long and black, so perhaps it would pair better with a well-hung brutha’ like Lexington Steele. “I’ve never worked with Lexington,” Savanna says with a wry grin, “but he was my boy toy for a while. I’m all for having plenty of sex and wine with a Nubian prince like Lex.” Ah, well in that case it ought to be something from K’orus, a new line of affordable French reds, whites and rosés targeted toward African-American oenophiles — the brainchild of former Motown Records CEO Kedar Massenburg.
Like its kissing cousin, Asti Spumante, the Italian sparkling wine Moscato d’Asti offers the sweet scent of sex on a hot summer morning with an even more sensual flavor profile (that’s winespeak for “taste”). This light and bubbly treat, the most delicate and sublime of all dessert wines, could provide necessary balance to some heavy Sapphic action. “The Nivole reminds me of a scene from my movie, ‘Flasher,’ in which Brooke Haven and I ravish each other’s pussies after a crazy night out,” says Savanna. “Moscato has the aroma of a ripe, white peach and the sweet velvety softness of a woman's outer lips. But it’s the inner juices that are the best part, and the most delicious pussies and dessert wines I’ve ever had have one thing in common: they taste like peaches.” (Note to peach farmers everywhere: Playboy is gladly accepting thank-you notes on Savanna’s behalf.)
The “Barely Legal” collection with a Marchesi di Gresy or Bruno Giacosa Barbaresco
Like porndom’s nubile nymphs, whose budding libidos are awakened by lecherous teachers and dirty old neighbors invariably portrayed by the likes of Herschel Savage, many find this age-worthy Italian red too irresistible to cellar. Barbaresco is made from powerfully tannic Nebbiolo grapes and exhibits many of the same characteristics as its hearty Piedmontese neighbor Barolo, perhaps the most prestigious of all Italian wines. “Like a promising young red, young porn stars can be pretty volatile and must be handled with care,” the 40-year-old Savanna opines. “Sure, they’re hot shit when they first arrive on the scene, but you never can predict how they’re going to age.” Savanna cites the career of septuagenarian sextress Cara Lott, 46, a fixture on the porn scene in the early 80s, who has made a comeback in recent years headlining MILF flicks. “Cara plays my mother in a movie I did recently, and I'll tell you what, that woman can fuck! She certainly made me put out a little harder and realize that for porn stars, a little seasoning can be a very good thing.” The exception being Savage, who Savanna calls “the worst fuck I ever had.”
“The New Devil In Miss Jones” with Savanna Samson “Sogno Uno” 2004
“My most acclaimed film is the perfect complement to my signature wine,” says Savanna. The critics agree. Miss Samson scored a Best Actress Award for “Miss Jones” at the 2006 AVN awards, and her debut label — a voluptuous blend of Cesanese, Sangiovese and Montepulciano — got venerated vino evaluator Parker hot and bothered to the tune of 91 precious rating points. It should be noted that Parker famously refuses to accept free samples… of wine, that is. I resist the temptation to ask Savanna if she’s ever been to the Motel 6 in Chestnut Hill, Maryland. Sogno Uno translates to “Dream One,” fitting since men the world over have spent many a restless night dreaming about the babe on the label. Says Savanna: “I was recently at a porn industry event where I was told I had the best onscreen presence ever. Later that night, my boyfriend tried my wine for the first time, pouring it down the top of my chest while I was sitting on his face. He said that not only was I the best he ever had, but the wine was as well.”
Dominatrix porn with a “Bitch” Barossa Grenache
“It's not often that I don the leather and bring out the whips and chains, so when I do look out because I'm in a mood!” growls our sex-ommelier. “I love the feeling of power as I let loose and take control. Most men aren't used to being dominated, so watching a guy get off as I whip his sorry ass is so delicious. A wine called ‘Bitch’ is perfect, because that’s what I’d make him — my little bitch.” The wine is composed of 100 percent old vine Grenache and is as bold and spicy as they come. In a pinch, the cork can be used as a ball gag.
Ass-to-mouth with Boone’s Strawberry Hill
“This one is a no-brainer,” says Savanna, “because they both taste like shit.” She is quick to add that her own posterior’s bouquet is an ambrosial medley of tropical fruits with a hint of fresh jam, which she attributes to her penchant for eating pineapple and strawberries when she drinks wine.
