WINE RATING SCORES
95 to 100: Wines that post scores within this lofty range display the utmost in elegance, style and overall desirability. Beauties such as these are extremely rare, much like the Imbiber’s ultimate dream girl, Rachel McAdams.
90 to 94: Drinking a wine that nabs a score such as this is surely as pleasurable an experience as I imagine it would be to make sweet, sweet love to Megan Fox.
85 to 89: If a wine were like two women making out, the ones that score within this range are the equivalent of Halle Berry and Scarlett Johansson swapping spit.
80 to 84: Here we’re getting into “Amy Winehouse is kinda cute, particularly after a six-pack or two” range. You could do better than these wines, but then again, you could do worse.
Below 80: Ever wonder what it would have been like to grope Leona Helmsley? Yeah, me neither.