Dan Dunn's "The Imbiber"

Many people drink ... few do it professionally!

07/22/08 03:19 PM

Like The Olympics for Beer Guzzlers With Peter Pan Syndrome
Most days the Imbiber wishes he were still in college. The parties, the late nights, the parties, sleeping until all hours of the day, the parties… come to think of it, my life now really isn’t all that different than it was back in college anyway.

Those leading more respectable lives than I am might relish the opportunity to temporarily tap into your former frat-boy or sorority-girl selves. What better way to return to your college days than with a game of Flip Cup? How about the largest game of Flip Cup ever played in the U.S.?

Flip Cup Guys, the nation’s largest organizer of flip cup tournaments, is making flip cup even bigger with the launch of its World’s Largest Flip Cup Tournament (WLFCT). Flip Cup will never be the same again. The event will be held on October 11, 2008 at the M1-5 Bar and Lounge in New York City.

Those eager to flip in WLFCT can log on to www.FlipCupGuys.com to register themselves, and their teammates, and familiarize themselves with the rules of the game and the tournament. With brackets calling for 64 six-player teams, and venue space allowing for hundreds of spectators, participants will be able to let loose, show off their team spirit, enjoy open beer bar specials, and compete for eternal glory.

Flip Cup Guys will be expanding their Flip Cup empire nationwide in 2009.

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THE TV QUOTE
“Curb Your Enthusiasm"

Larry: He insulted me. He implied that I was lying about my stepfather!

Jeff Greene: You don't have a stepfather.

Larry: I know, but I didn't like the implication!

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Need a Mancation?

If girls just wanna have fun, guys just wanna man-cation. According to a recent national survey, 42 percent of men ages 25-55 have enjoyed or would like to experience a “man-cation” – the widespread trend of a male friends’ vacation without women. Of this group, two-thirds said they’d prefer a Kentucky bourbon-themed trip over a luxury, “Vegas-type” experience.
To celebrate this trend in guy-only getaways, Jim Beam Kentucky Straight Bourbon and Knob Creek Straight Bourbon Whiskey are offering an insider’s guide to Bourbon Country and Louisville, Ky., hotspots that are guaranteed to bring the fun and not break the bank during September, National Bourbon Heritage Month.
“It doesn’t surprise me that the majority of men chose Kentucky’s Bourbon Trail over other, better known upscale destinations,” said Fredrick Booker Noe III, seventh-generation Jim Beam family member and native of Bardstown, Ky. “Men like to hang out with their friends and sip a little bourbon. Add some great food, maybe some sports, and history, and it all adds up to a perfect guys’ getaway, especially this September, which is National Bourbon Heritage Month.”
Survey respondents agree with Noe; results show that more than 40 percent of men are interested in learning more about the history of their favorite alcoholic beverages. What else is on their man-cation wish list? A destination boasting affordable prices (62 percent), sporting events (37 percent), recreational activities such as hiking or boating (35 percent) and a quality food and restaurant scene (35 percent.)
Enter Louisville, offering neighborhood bars where a good bourbon cocktail and deep conversation are easy to find; late-night hotspots where live music plays and man-sized meals are served; and sporting destinations for nearly any interest.
“With the rising costs of gas and food, destinations like Las Vegas and Miami aren’t always practical,” said Bernie Lubbers, Louisville native and Knob Creek Whiskey Professor. “Louisville offers an affordable guys-only getaway that blends heritage, entertainment, sports and spirits to have the guys talking for years to come.”
Among the highlights on a Louisville man-cation:
Muhammad Ali Center – Find greatness within as you watch legendary Ali fights On-Demand and revel in the aura of a living Olympic champion
The Louisville Slugger Museum – Experience history in-the-making as you stroll through the factory where world-famous Louisville Slugger bats are created
Jim Beam Distillery – Discover what The Stuff Inside means to you on the self-guided tour of the distillery process. Sample the rich, distinctive tastes of Jim Beam Black Bourbon and Knob Creek Bourbon in the historic T. Jeremiah Beam home, and walk the distillery grounds to experience the 213 year Jim Beam history

Kentucky Bourbon Festival, and more!
Men who are unable to get away this September can still enjoy a piece of the Bourbon Trail while waiting for next year. The America’s Native Spirit Web site boasts an in-depth user experience to bring bourbon culture to life. For more information on “America’s Native Spirit” visit www.AmericasNativeSpirit.com

Leave Them Kids Alone

In a major report released recently on self-regulation in the beverage alcohol industry, the Federal Trade Commission found “high levels of compliance” with the industry’s voluntary 70 percent 21 years of age and older demographic standard and concluded the distilled spirits industry’s advertising is directed to adults.

Specifically, the FTC found that more than 92 percent of all television, radio, and print advertising placements met the 70 percent 21+ demographic standard and more than 97 percent of total advertising impressions met the 70 percent standard.

“The FTC has stated clearly that the spirits industry has done an excellent job in ensuring that its advertising and marketing is directed to adults,” said Distilled Spirits Council President Peter H. Cressy. “Since 2003, we have instituted transparent public reports, rigorous audits and a new buying guideline for internet/digital media which have significantly contributed to the high standard cited in today’s announcement.”

The FTC did not recommend a change in the 70 percent 21+ demographic standard noting that it is grounded in the 2000 census data and that the “current 70 percent baseline standard has helped to ensure that alcohol advertising is not disproportionately directed to those below the legal drinking age, as recommended by the Surgeon General’s Call to Action.”

Cressy noted, “Not surprisingly, assertions about beverage alcohol advertising by industry critic, the Center on Alcohol Marketing and Youth (CAMY), once again comes in for criticism for its questionable methodologies and conclusions – something the industry has long pointed out to the news media and public officials.”

Importantly, the FTC said that teen drinking “has declined substantially over time,” and “restriction on teen access to alcohol are a proven way to reduce teen drinking.” The FTC noted most teens who drink gain access to alcohol primarily through non-commercial sources such as older friends, parties where adults are present, or by taking it from their own homes, which was reinforced by a major study issued today by the U.S. Substance and Mental Health Services Administration.

The Imbiber's "Sexiest Everything" List

Sexiest passage from the Bible — “Song of Songs,” the six-part erotic poem the follows Job's misery. “Your breasts are like gazelles, twin deer among the lilies... I have undressed; why should I ever get dressed again.” Jesus Christ, that’s hot!

Sexiest Pro Video Game Player — Vanessa Arteaga. Not only is she sexy as hell, she can snap your neck in two seconds flat … in “Dead or Alive 4,” that is. Known for her unmatched dominance in DOA, the 20-year-old Arteaga is the most acclaimed female gamer in the world.

Sexiest American Idol Contestant — Katharine McPhee. If you failed to catch the McPheever when Kat was crooning for Cowell on “Idol,” YouTube her rousing performance of the National Anthem before last season’s Packers-Lions Thanksgiving Day game. Sure to make you, uh, swell up with patriotic pride.

Sexiest Way To Die — Helicopter Crash (non-military); We all gotta go sometime, somehow, so why not meet yer maker with some sass? Perish in a helicopter crash, and chances are you’ve led a pretty full life – one that no doubt included heli-skiing in the French Alps and ditching cab lines at JFK. Runner up: Being suffocated to death with a pair of panties by an insanely jealous Jessica… Biel, Alba or Simpson.

Sexiest Nightclub Staff — Hands down, the waitresses at Tryst in Las Vegas. The Tryst staff consists of a Hawaiian Tropic Model, bikini models who have appeared in countless national ad campaigns, Maxim Hometown Hottie finalists and lop-off-a-finger-just-for-a-kiss sexy babes.

Sexiest Service Profession — The Delivery Guy. He provides food for the hungry, his navigational skills are beyond compare, and unlike taxi drivers he’s fearless when it comes to carrying change. Oh, and sometimes he bangs porn chicks.

Sexiest Right Wing Nut Job — Anne Coulter; She’s a shill for the wacko conservative fringe, has her head so far up GW’s ass she can see what he had for lunch, and may very well be a man... but admit it, you’ve thought about taking a spin on the Coulter Express. It’s okay, man. We’re ashamed about it, too.

Sexiest Panties — Hanky Panky gilded rose mesh thong. Makes you want to spanky-wanky.

Sexiest Pet (for a dude) — St. Bernard. Size does matter. Plus, these humongous hounds rate way high on the cuddliness meter.

Sexiest Pet (for a chick) — A goldfish because … well, who gives a shit, as long as she’s hot?

Sexiest Airline — Quatar; Granted, the Average Joe doesn’t need non-stop New York – Yemen flights everyday, but when you do, and have the cash to fly in the front of the bus, you don’t get your typical First Class sleeper seat. Quatar recently installed what they call “First Suites” which are basically a one-room apartment in the sky, complete with a double bed and it’s own locking door. Gone are the days when joining the mile-high club meant the obligatory Clark Griswald-esque toilet blue stained pant cuffs.

Sexiest Sexagenarian — Susan Sarandon. “Bull Durham.” Enough said.

Sexiest Piece of Office Equipment — The Stapler. Let’s face facts: It’s 2007, and sexual harassment is no longer condoned. In fact, some companies have even started “training” against it. And with all these new rules and regulations…it’s nice to know that something is still getting pounded in the office. All hail the stapler!

Sexiest Chick Who Dated Scott Baio — Erika Eleniak; At 38, she’s no spring chicken, and recently she’s had some issues with her weight (see: Celebrity Fit Club). But we pledged our allegiance to this California-bred “Baywatch” babe the moment she popped out of that cake nude in “Under Siege” and we’re sticking with her.

Sexiest Album Cover — Blink 182’s “Enema of the State.” Janine Lindemulder can stimulate our bowels anytime.

Sexiest Fruit — The Kumquat. Repeating the name a few times is guaranteed to make you horny.

Sexiest Disgraced Former Beauty Contestant — The eternally alluring Vanessa Williams was forced to relinquish her Miss America title back in 1984 after pictures surfaced of her simulating Sapphic action. But when it comes to tarnishing the tiara, nobody beats Miss USA 2006, Tara Conner, who said “yes, yes, yes” to rehab after it was disclosed she’d Hoovered a pile of China White and gotten down with one of her fellow contestants in a bar. She was 20 at the time.

Sexiest Cocktail — Caipirinha. It’s the national cocktail of Brazil, a country that produces the majority of the world's Victoria's Secret models.

Sexiest Term of Endearment — Kitten. Makes chicks feel frisky.

Sexiest Way To Quit Your Job — Make a scene, A BIG Scene; The days of the two-week notice and getting a nice letter of recommendation are about as outdated as dial up internet service. The company you work for doesn’t give a damn about you, so when it’s your turn to go, GO BIG... hurl items from your desk across the room, out your boss, set the place on fire, grab the hottest married chick in the office and plant a wet one on her (she’ll totally dig it). Do whatever you want, man! This is YOUR moment to make a statement, while becoming an instant legend in the minds of all the sad-sack slab rats you’re leaving behind.

Sexiest “Real World” Cast Member — A dead heat between RW New Orleans’ cast member Kelley Limp, who makes us feel anything but, or the virginal Mallory Snyder from the Paris edition, who went on to become an SI swimsuit model. Then again, Ruthie from Hawaii was one sexy drunk.

Sexiest High-End Gym Chain — Equinox; whether in New York,
Chicago, Miami or Los Angeles, Equinox is where the beautiful people go to get their buff on. Oh, and they have weights too.

Sexiest Foreign Accent — Israeli. It’s the new French.

Sexiest Amount Of Time To Spend Having Sex — 14.5 minutes; Marathon sex sessions sound good when you’re bragging in a bar, but the truth is anything lasting longer than 14.5 minutes is just a pain in the ass… sometimes literally. This formula provides for five minutes of foreplay, five more for the actual hippity dippity, four minutes for her to fake an orgasm, and a final thirty seconds of cuddling time at the end...for those who need it.

Sexiest Text Abbreviation — NONE! For the love of God can we all please stop texting? We don’t give a shit that you’ll “BRB” or that you are “LOL”ing, if you want to let us know what you’re doing, pick up the fucking phone and call. Oh, and make sure and wait for the beep.

Sexiest Movie Line Ever — “I’m not bad, I’m just drawn that way.” – Jessica Rabbit

Sexiest Reality TV Show — Survivor. We can’t very well pick Kid Nation for fear of running into Chris Hansen from Dateline NBC and hearing those infamous words, “Why don’t you have a seat right over there.” We know it’s not the newest hip reality show, but “Survivor” has stood the test of time, and honestly, how many of us haven’t tried to wear one of the buffs as a tube top?

Sexiest Chick Married to An Ugly Dude — Supermodel Paulina Porizkova has been the standard-bearer in this category ever since she married skeletal rocker Ric Ocasek in 1989. But in 2004, another spectacular beauty — “Top Chef” host Padma Lakshmi — got hitched to an even more frightful beast — hirsute novelist Salman Rushdie. Now THAT is a good reason to declare a fatwa.

Sexiest Halloween Costume — A “slutty” anything.

Sexiest Sweets for the Socially Conscience — Endangered Species Dark Chocolate with Deep Forest Mint. Each delectable bar is guaranteed to be made by workers earning a fair wage under humane conditions and is wrapped in recyclable paper.

Sexiest Classic Film — “Last Tango in Paris.” The controversial 1971 Bertolucci film featured Marlon Brando having butter-lubricated anal sex with smoking hot French actress Maria Schneider. And as if things couldn’t get any hotter, a few years after the film bowed Schneider openly declared her bisexuality.

Sexiest Dance Move — The Moonwalk. After all these years, Michael Jackson’s signature move still makes women want to get it on. Unless they have small children, then they might want to get a restraining order.

Sexiest Cartoon Character — Betty Rubble. With apologies to Ms. Rabbit and Foxxy from “Drawn Together,” we’re smitten with the classic beauty of Barney’s better half. Nobody has ever looked better in a saber tooth tiger pelt.

Sexiest Aisle at the Grocery Store — Produce is the obvious answer, but frozen foods is the dark horse.

Sexiest Place to Get a Tattoo (gal) — The t’aint. If she’ll endure that, she’ll do just about anything.

Sexiest Place to Get a Tattoo (guy) — Nut sack. Just do it – and send us a note afterwards, let us know how it worked out ;)

Sexiest City in America — Austin, Texas. It’s a lot like New Orleans, only less totally destroyed.

Sexiest City Outside of America — Hong Kong. Karaoke, happy endings and great Chinese takeout. What more could you want?

Sexiest Drink Order (woman) — Bourbon neat, with a Budweiser back.

Sexiest Drink Order (man) — A bottle of vintage Lafite Rothschild ought to do the trick.

Sexiest Post-Feminist Viewpoint — Any one having to do with bi-curious women and that being a good thing.

Sexiest “Seinfeld” Girl — Jerry’s impressive list of unlikely conquests includes Kristin Davis, Catherine Keener and Helen Slater. But you know, Teri Hatcher’s real boobs really are spectacular. She wins the contest.

Sexiest Kitchen Gadget — The potato masher; simple, strong and elegant this invention dates back to the early 1800’s and has remained virtually unchanged ever since. You can feel the sexual tension release and you pulverize the once hard spuds into a delightfully fluffy white substance that provides both nutrients and that warm down home feeling once only achieved by one of Mom’s homemade pies.

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sirius 9-19-06 04 jackie & ian s

"Jackie's Joke Hunt" ...featuring Imbiber bud Jackie Martling (along with Ian Karr) will be heard every Tuesday from 7-8 p.m. on Sirius Satellite Radio, on the Howard 101 channel.
CHECK IT OUT!

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The Imbiber wants to know what kindred spirits are up to when they're out on the town. If you've got visual evidence (uh, that'd be a picture) from a wild night of debauchery that you're willing to share, please e-mail it along with pertinent details (who's in the picture, where you were, what the hell is going on) to imbiber@theimbiber.net If your photo's got it going on, it'll get posted on the site.

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BOOZE NEWS ...

Text Messaging For Wine Dummies

Dinner for four at 8:00 p.m.? No problem…unless it’s already 7:00 p.m. and you are aimlessly wondering up and down the aisles trying to figure out what to prepare. But then to also have to pick out the right wine? It’s enough to make you throw your hands up in the air and opt for dinner out …until now! eWine Match, a new food and wine pairing solution via mobile technology offers real time solution on what to serve at your next meal. Just text 411511 with an ingredient or cuisine type such as tomatoes or ginger chicken and within seconds you will receive three wine selections that span a range in varietal, region and price. The service is free (though contingent upon a user’s text message service) and unlike current food and wine pairing solutions on the web, is totally portable and responds specifically to the food item submitted.

eWine Match relies on a “smart” database that recognizes the dominant reactive flavors in food and provides shoppers with wines that would pair well with their food choice. Developed under the consultation of Professional Chef and Wine Educator Jerry Comfort, the system aims to help often overwhelmed consumers find a good match for their upcoming meal. “eWine Match is like having your own sommelier with you in the store as you decide what you’re going to have for dinner,” says Comfort. “Because wine pairing is not as simple as ‘whites go with fish,’ this intelligent system prioritizes the primary or predominant flavor and then the protein. And the beauty of a database-driven platform is that it is constantly growing and as we get new and unusual text messages we will continue to expand the database,” he adds. FINE Design Group, based in San Francisco, developed the web and mobile enabled technology.

The eWine Match service is available nationally and will be promoted in more than 2500 stores this summer.

TableTopics Wine Topics

TableTopics Conversation Starters transform the same old cocktail party chit chat, and wine tasting parties to a whole new level. Small cubes are filled with mini cards each with a different question. They are fun, thought provoking and guaranteed to propel your conversations to new heights. Discover something new about your family, friends and even yourself!

The wine themed questions will spark an entertaining conversation over your next glass of wine with friends or make the perfect gift for your favorite wine lover!

Choose from Original, Couples, Girls Night Out, Kids, Travel, Wine, Spirit, Book Club and many more!

Click on this link to see a photo and learn more.
www.tabletopics.com

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