TheImbiber.net - Like a Bourbon Virgin...tippled for the very first time.

Friday, 13 March 2009 08:43

Like a Bourbon Virgin...tippled for the very first time.

Written by Curtis Robinson

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None of us forget our first time, unless we're so drunk to have never captured the memory in the first place, but it's odd when somebody's an adult and hasn't done it yet. But my friend chose well when she picked me as her guide, because I am a professional after all.

Me? My first time was behind the Tomahawk Post Office, at an age sure to furrow the brow of any distillery compliance officer. It was rough but thrilling and if memory serves it was J.W. Dant, the half-pint size.

So it was an honor when my new friend asked me to help her drink bourbon for the initial round. Technically, maybe, she's had bourbon before in a Mint Julep or some such disguise, but we both know she was ready for the next step.

Ah, the challenges. Do you go with the top shelf, the Bookers and Woodford's of the world? Or how about one of the classics? You think of the sweetness of Ezra Brooks. This was to be the foundation of her entire bourbon experience, so maybe Jim Beam? Who would have thought that performance anxiety could rear its ugly head in such a joyous process?

She seemed amused at the seriousness I bestowed upon the choice. Of French stock, she was not 100 percent buying the backstory about bourbon being invented by French folks in Kentucky, and that the county seat of Bourbon County is Paris. She also perhaps doubted that I'm a Capricorn with Scorpio rising, once had dinner with Johnny Depp in Aspen and god knows what other name-dropping nerves-induced rants I babbled on about in less than 30 minutes time.

I wondered if she was about to Google a few of my more specific mumblings, but the real question remained.

"How about Jack Daniels?" somebody rudely suggested from down the bar. I cast one of those "go away, thou lacks wisdom" looks, quickly explained that JD is a fine sour mash but this was a bourbon night, and tried to gather more info.

"What's your favorite wine?" It turns out First Timer liked a good Rioja. The deal was done.

"Makers Mark, neat, please."

It was a good bet. I told her it's the official bourbon for the Kentucky Derby, at least for my family, and that it's the key to Mint Juleps. But it's always difficult. Would I have adopted a love of fermented beverage without a potent mix of peer pressure and Debbie M. doing a huge shot and double-dog-daring me?

The drink arrived. She noted its wonderful color. Took a good sip.
"It tastes like Christmas," she said after a moment.

Just freaking great. Write about spirits for 100 years and the best line you have is about oak or finish or ... ah, the hell with it. Then somebody, some first timer, nails the single best drink description in captivity: Tastes. Like. Christmas.

That's exactly what a fist adult sip of Maker's Mark must be like -- home at the Holidays and a roaring fire and timeless childhood memories floating in from the kitchen and a link to Tiny Tim (not the singer) blessing us one and all...and maybe some bourbon drinkers really are born, not made.

And I will sooooo steal that line. Or a version of it.

"How's the wine, Mr. Imbiber field producer?"

"It tastes like...Boxing Day."